TAKING BACK [THE KNIT]

.. I killed a baby today ... Okay, really I just wanted to. I babysat, this evening, for the first time in a number of years. HOLY SHIT. I'm not really around 6 1/2 year-old boys too often and thus I forgot what I was really getting myself into. I got hit, kicked, yelled at, and insulted. But hey, I expected it. And most of the time it was okay, except for the fact that he's obsessed with playing imaginary battle games and so everything has magical powers blah blah blah. Whatever. I'm getting $8 an hour, plus dinner every time, so I can't complain to much. However I do know that I won't be getting much homework done while I'm there. Also, the little guy wanted me to wipe his butt for him because "Daddy said I can't wipe my butt until I'm SEVEN!" Good thing Daddy got home in time that I didn't have to do anything. I'm sorry but that is one thing I'm not doing until I have my own kid and have to do it.

Natalie MacMaster was on some show on PBS tonight, which was amazing. If you don't know who she is, she's a fiddler from Cape Breton who plays the most amazing stuff. If you have any interest in Celtic music at all, you should definitely check her out. She does stuff like "Flamenco Fling" which mixes Scottish music and Spanish stuff and in her live show she does all kinds of cool shit, including the moonwalk. I could talk about how great she is for a week, so I think I'll quit before I really get going. It was definitely a pleasant surprise to see that tonight.

As knitting goes, I ripped out the ribbing on my Bad Penny and added a couple of inches to the body and am in the process of binding off the ribbing for the second time. I didn't do the lace pattern this time because I didn't think it worked that well with the overall top. I really like consistency, and I thought about doing something similar on the sleeves and collar but I think with a varigated yarn it already has enough going on. It should be done in the next couple of days, and I only have ribbing on one sleeve and the collar left. And I have to weave in 58458432432 ends. What a pain in the ass. I'm also thinking about making a top similar to this with a cable panel down the front and possibly on the sleeves. It really wouldn't be that much like this pattern, it would only be similar because it will be a top-down raglan knit in one piece. Anyway, yeah. I'm doing well and can't wait to be done so I can wear it!

Another thing: I found a book about knitting with wire in the library at school. I may be looking into that to make some jewelry and cool stuff like that. I'm not sure yet.

I just noticed that I posted that twice. I thought blogspirit wasn't working correctly and was frustrated so I didn't check if it really was or not. Shit. Whatever. It's been kind of one of those days. I was supposed to be at Death or Glory Fest all day today, and I even paid for a two-day wristband yesterday however I had no ride. (Stiff Little Fingers just came on the radio, and somehow my day just got a little better.) Anyway, my friends was going to take me and then she let her step mother borrow her car and told me to find my own ride. Awesome. I love shit like that. So I wasted a shitload of money on a show I didn't get to go to. And on top of that, some of my favorite bands played. Fucking wonderful. Whatever. Yesterday was fucking great, good job to everyone who put it on and to all the bands who played. I had a ton of fun, and I hope this becomes a yearly thing.

I went to a baby shower today. For a lot of the time I sat there thinking what I will dress my kid like, should I ever have one in the distant future. It's definitely NOT going to be pastels 24/7 let me tell you that much. I am so anti-cutesy stuff. Anyway, I dopn't lan on having kids, EVER, so I really needn't worry. (I don't really like kids too much, plus I'm very impatient and I don't want that much responsibility.)

I just watched the Six Feet Under finale. I had a headache before but I worsened if from crying, and my eyes are all puffy. I'm not sure what made me cry so much, but I was just about bawling. I haven't even watched the show from the beginning, but I did feel like I really knew the charchters. Mostly because they are more like real people than anyone in any other tv shows I watch. I'm very sad to see it end. I loved their fucked up little world. It made me feel better about my own sometimes.

I've been pretty depressed lately. It's like, I enjoy myself when I'm at shows and when I'm with my friends but it's like there is something that's missing. I feel very empty. And totally unmotivated. I feel like there is no point in working hard in school because whatever I do I'm going to end up in some job that I absolutely hate and I will have to deal with that every day. I feel like there is no job that I will feel happy doing. I feel like there is no one out there for me. I feel like there is no way I'm going to be happy and complacent with my life. And it's not like I totally hate life and want to kill myself or anything. I WANT to be happy, I want to find something that will motivate me and someone who will make me feel like I'm not empty. It's just that I feel like I never will. And at the same time, all I feel like doing is knitting. I get so many good ideas. And I sat at a couple of parties lately and at that fest and knit, and that was more fun than anything else that was going on, and I had some good conversations based on it. Anyway, I just feel like there is no where for my life to go. Like why bother? I 'm going to end up like everyone else I know who is middle aged and unhappy with their job. I'm sure I'll still have shows and cool friends and fun stuff like that but how far can that take me? I wish there was something I really wanted to do with my life. It would make everything a lot easier.

This is the one drawback to knitting: it leaves a lot of time for thought, and for me that means I'm going to overthink stuff. Like I said though, I've been knitting a lot. I finished the body of my Bad Penny, although I think it's a littl short and I might frog the ribbing and add a couple of inches to the body. I haven't really decided yet, though. I've still been working on the same fucking panel of honeycomb cable for my afghan. I hate this fucking thing. It is ugly and boring. I'm going to do a fun panel next. I started working on the camo cables scarf, which was a big hit with everyone I was knitting in front of the other day. I got a number of requests for scarves. Nice. I'm actually starting to fall in love with this scarf, and I hate that it's in Red Heart because to absolutely feels like sandpaper. I wish I could find another yarn in the same colorway that feels better. I'm also palnning 52408543 projects in the furute, not limited to but including a hoodie, a bag, a hat, mittens, legwarmers, some sort of shrug/shawl/capelet, and all kinds of other shit. I wish I could just knit for a living! One other good thing: I found the cable pattern for the scarf from Knitting On The Edge that I was looking for in a book that was ten dollars less! Sah-weeeet! Can't wait to use that. Random side note: has anyone seen the mittens on craftster that have a DNA shaped cable? So fucking cool! (I'll find the link, they are to cool!)

... got this filled out and posted!

1. First name? Jessica

2. Were you named after anyone? my dad's great aunt

3. Do you wish on stars? occasionally.

4. When did you last cry? I almost cried yesterday, but I managed not to. I think the last time was when I smashed my hand in between to chairs the other day.

5. Do you like your handwriting? Yep.

6. What is your favorite lunch meat? Either corned beef or ham.

7. What is your birth date? August 7th, 1987.

8. What is your most embarrassing CD? Spice Girls? I'm not really embarrassed about them, though. Wait, I got it: Papa Roach.

9. If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Yes, I RULE. And I am considerate and dependable.

10. Do you have a journal? A written on that I write in very rarely, and this here blog.

11. Do you use sarcasm a lot? Me, sarcastic? Naver. Really I do love sarcasm and people who use it endear themselves to my heart.

12. What are your nicknames? Jess, Lumberjack, LJ, Steve, Edge Breaker, Crimson Herring, Big Red, and a ton more.

13. Would you bungee jump? I can't stand the feeling of falling, so no.

14. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off ? Yeah.

15. Do you think that you are strong? Not physically. I'm a wimp.

16. What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate and peanut butter OR mint chocolate chip.

17. Shoe Size? 8/9/10

18. Red or pink? red.

19. What is your least favorite thing about yourself? My lack of motivation. (Lily and I have the same answer and it's not a good one.)

20. Who do you miss most? My old friends before they changed. And having some shred of a love life, no matter how pathetic.

21. Do you want everyone you send this to, to send it back? I'm not going to send it out, but if there actually is someone who hasn't put it up yet and they get it from me, let me know.

22. What color pants and shoes are you wearing? Grey shorts and no shoes.

23. What are you listening to right now? Queen - Fat Bottom Girls (I adore this song!)

24. Last thing you ate? Taco Bell last night for dinner.

25. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? some shade of blue.

26. Last person you talked to on the phone? My sister.

27. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Their mannerisms, how the stand, how they talk, their facial expressions.

29. Do you like the person who sent this to you?

28. Alcohol? After the day I've had so far today I could use a drink. But really, I'm straight edge and obviously don't drink.

29. Hair Color? Red/Strawberry blonde/Titian/auburn. It's got a lot going on, and I have never dyed it.

30. Favorite sport? I watch baseball, soccer, and NASCAR, but I do not play sports.

31. Do you wear contacts? Not yet, I'm still 20/20.

32. Favorite Food? Tacos, I think. I like food a lot, so it would be hard for me to choose.

33. Last Movie You Watched? Ghost World.

34. Favorite day Of the Year? St. Patrick's Day, or Halloween.

35. Summer or winter? Fall.

36. Hugs or Kisses? Hugs.

37. What Is Your Favorite Dessert? Chocolate cake.

38. Most likely to respond?

39. Least Likely To Respond?

40. Living Arrangements? Chez mes parents. LAME.

41. What Books Are You Reading? I just read The Magician's Assistant, which was very good.

42. What’s On Your Mouse Pad? The gateway logo.

43. What Did You Watch Last Night? A shitload of good bands play.

44. Favorite Smells? Wet dirt, mint, and vanilla.

45. Favorite Sounds? Music that is so good that it gives me the chills.

46. Rolling Stones or Beatles? Eh. Either or neither is perfectly fine with me.

47. What’s the farthest you’ve been from home? Hawaii, in miles and in spirit. I barely thought about home while I was there and it was great.

48. Do you have a special talent? Saying stupid shit, fucking things up, being generally lame, and knitting at parties when I should be talking to other people.

i had that whole goddamned survey that everyone has up all typed and ready to go, but i took to long. ARGH! i'll redo it tomorrow but i am done for the night. i really didn't even get to make comment rounds, only a couple, but i at least read everyone's pages.

p.s.- if anyone knows what my title is from, i would be highly amused.

p.p.s.- i wish i didn't have to wake up early for school. i woul have lot more time for this.

Today was my first day of college. I can tell I will hate it, although I'm not sure if I will hate it as much or for the same reasons as high school. I saw a shitload of people from my high school, which really made it worse. Best of all a girl that I used to be bFfZ with (then she broke one of my other friends hearts and was jealous that I had a social life) is in my french class. AWESOME. I got called on to read something, my teacher took the time to talk about redheads and the word "rousse", and then complimented my accent and told me I might think about the next level of French up. Which as much as I'd like to do my grammar, etc. is not up to that level yet. And I'd rather just take the easier class, shit. Anyway, as a first day I guess it was all right. I don't hate any of my teachers, although I know I won't really be talking to anyone in my classes. And I'm thinking of switching my English class based on how much my teacher stressed that we would be working in groups. I HATE group work.

So enough about that. I'm going to do enough bitching about school in the future, I'm sure.

After hearing that the Tuesday Morning down the street from me had yarn from both my mom and grandma, I finally made it over there this weekend. They had excessive amounts of plastic striaght needles, which I bought a set of. It was like #6s through #10s all for $5.99. Even though I'm not a big fan of plastic, I figured it was a good deal. Also, they had bags with of 3 skeins of Lion Brand Cotton Ease or Polar Spun for $5.99, too. There was a ton of orange Cotton Ease which I was very tempted to buy. But realistically what the hell does one knit in orange? Pumpkin suit? I know even if I had found a suitable pattern I would never wear anything that color. I'm a redhead, so I've already got enough of that orange-y color around. =) I ended up buying a bag or red and a bag of blue. I'm thinking modified retroknits bag with the red, and I'm not sure what with the blue. Possibly some sort of shrug, although I don't know what I would wear a royal blue shrug with. It's a beautiful color but it would be a lot.
I also bought some camo Red Heart that will be made into a scarf for Christine (my non-knitting, real BFF). I did a scarf in another varigated Red Heart yarn for someone else, that I think I never took pictures of, but I think I'm going to use the same pattern. It's just simple cables and ribs. Yeah. I'm actually kind of excited about it. Like Joy says, it feels like shit but it looks good.

Atom and His Package rule my life. Just thought I'd mention that. 

Also, I picked the a new yarn for the sleeves/collar/ribbing on my Bad Penny. I'm using what is left over of the Sugar n Cream from halter top Lelah. I'm just about done with it, after having to rip it out because it was about 4-5 inches too big around the torso. Now it's at a better width. I've got one sleeve and about an inch of the bottom ribbing done. I'm debating as to whether or not to do the lace pattern. I think I will, just for fun. A little break from the K2 P2 monotony. You can see how huge the top was in the first picture, and also how stupid the varigation looks compared to the other pictures. And don't mind my whiteness. heh.

 

My god, my computer is being painfully slow. I think I'll but this entry up sans pictures, and add them one-by-one. So if there are none, come back by in a bit and there will be some.

5 CD's in your player:
HorrorPops - Hell Yeah! (I can't wait for their new album)

Dropkick Murphys - Warrior's Code (I only like about 4 songs, but I really like them)

Give 'Em the Boot IV from Hellcat Records

Pity the Backseat- A Northern California Hardcore Compilation (this is such an amazing comp)

and i have 325143908 burned compliation cds that i listen to most of the time

5 Movies You've watched recently 
 Lost and Delirious (on IFC)

Devil's Rejects (at the drive in, hell yeah!)

Land of the Dead (HORRIBLE! and I wanted to like it)

Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself (On the Sundance Channel)

Everybody Sing (I LOVE JUDY GARLAND! On TCM, and Judy Garland day was on my b-day!)

5 Nice things that happened to you lately
I might be getting a little action tonight

I had a great party on my birthday, and my friends enjoyed it too, I think

I revived the wednesday breakfast meetings with toni and lynsey

Lynsey and I got Guillotine Gals going, and spread the word a little bit

I'm sure something else nice has happened lately but it really doesn't seem like it.

5 MP3s on your playlist

Bouncing Souls- Kate Is Great

Champion - Assume the Worst

Lifelong Tragedy - Explaining a Feeling

Above This World - No Justice

Killling the Dream - Where the Heart Is
(I'm listening to a cd of free mp3s that I just burned, so it was really easy to make that list! Also, all these are on mymusicbiatch, so if you want free mp3s of some amazing bands check that out.)

And I have no idea who I'm going to tag! Everyone whose blog I read is already tagged. Hm. I guess that's what i get for lagging on the blogging.

I went shopping today, and what did I buy? Shoes and knitting magazines! I needed some brown shoes, and you can't go wrong with Chuck Taylors, so I now own my 7th pair of them. (two blacks, red, blue, white, plaid, and now brown) I only wear the black pair regularly, though. Someone tell me why I am feeling so compelled to talk about this. Anyway, I also bought the Summer 2005 issue of Interweave Knits, which has the shrug pattern I want to make in it! I'm so excited (it's Fiery Bolero, in case you were wondering). It's got a lot of cute stuff in it. I also bough Vogue Knitting, the Fall 2005 issue. Some cute stuff, but nothing I would knit straight from the pattern. It would all definitely have to be modified to fit my taste/style.

Since knitting is becoming a larger and larger part of my life, my friends are seeing stuff I've knit and 549832589032 people have asked me to knit stuff for them lately. It's good because I need the money, since many of them have offered to pay. (For my good friends I would normally knit stuff for them at just the cost of the yarn, because it's a little fucked up to be making money off one's friends.) It's bad because there's a ton of stuff I want to knit for myself! Anyway, I'm going to knit a hat and possibly mittens for a friend who is going to college in Wisconsin. Why anyone would want to leave sunny California to go to school in the freezing cold middle of bum-fucked nowhere, I don't know. This girl doesn't even own a winter coat! It's a challenge to knit stuff that I think people will actually use/wear. Since there are so many different variables, it's hard to really decide.

Thank you to everyone who said happy birthday, I had a good one. I had a fun little party that I realized I took NO pictures of! (I'm a dumbass.) It was cool. And since I got money from people, I finally bought and iPod. Mini actually, the 4GB silver one. Then when I tried (notice tried, which is never a good word in a story like this) to install the software for it on my computer, I discovered it wouldn't work because I don't have Windows 2000 or higher. Goddamned Windows 98 is fucking mne over again! So I'm not quite sure what the plan is with this yet, but I'm really enjoying the fact that the iPod has games on it. I can play Solitaire all the time now! YESSSSS!

Oh man, it is hard to go from knitting to typing! My hands are stiff! Shit, I'm not even 18 yet, and my hands are already hurting. Probably not a good thing. My joints are going to be horrendous when I get older.

Anyway, enough of that kind of talk. I went to Michael's today to buy more of the yarn for my mom's afghan and ended up buying that and stuff to make Bad Penny with. (by the way, I've talked to a couple of people and used the word "afghan" in reference to what I'm making and they had no idea what I was talking about. I was under the impression that is what everyone calls a blanket that like sits on your couch and it usually knit or crocheted. It's not quite a throw, but close.) Since using Sugar and Cream for Lelah and Lelah #2, I've fallen in love with it. Plus, I'm a sucker for cheap. So I got a couple of balls for Bad Penny in a variegated colorway, that's purples and greens. I'm usually not a big fan of variegated yarns but I really like the colors in this. I was originally looking for something more along the lines of greens and browns so it would look a little like camouflage but I think I might like this more. It's going well so far, I've got about half of the raglan part done.

Non-knitting related and somewhat random and a little sexual story: My friend Lynsey and I one day were talking and she insulted me by calling me "penis face" or something like that, and ended up talking about how neither of us never want to give head ever. We decided to start a crew, and she came up with the name Guillotine Gals. (Get it? Guillotine, no head? We love puns.) And we've come up with all these amazing ideas. Last night we talked about it again, and we're talking about designing clothes with logos, etc. We desperately need an artist to draw us some logos and stuff but oh man, it is going to be great. Pin up girls will be kind of a theme, because they are gorgeous and it's so cool to juxtapose vulgar shit with a beautiful girl. I know a lot of girls who hate sucking dick (wow, I really could put that more delicately, huh? whatever) so I think this will be somewhat popular. It sounds kind of juvenile now that I actually write it out, but I'm super stoked. I can't wait to really get this going.

Okay, to take a page out of Lily's book: does anyone have the "Knitting on the Edge" book? I'm dying for the pattern for the scarf that's on the cover (Saxon Braid scarf?) but I don't have $30 to buy it. I really want to make it for one of my friends who wants me to knit him a scarf ... I think without the fringe. I really like that specific cable pattern, so yeah if anyone would give that to me I'll do them a favor in return.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love cover songs? They are really the best.

oh man, my computer has been acting totally crazy lately! I think it's finally back to normal, which is weird too. It changed for no reason, and now went back to normal, with almost an audible click. I don't get it.

I finally took Lelah #2 pictures and finished the Clap! I'll upload them once I'm done with this. They're not the best pictures I've ever taken, but they'll suffice. And shit, I never realized how hard it is to take a picture of your own back!

I've finally got all my classes registered and paid for, which is a huge weight off my shoulders. Too bad I'm going to have to go to them, come the 15th. Anyway, I don't think any of them will be too hard (English, easy math, ballet, and French that picks up where I left off). I just hope I won't hate it as much as I did high school. That would be a nightmare. ... Also yesterday I got my babysitting job set in stone. Figuratively. Anyway, I'm babysitting once a week, possibly more until December. I think I can deal with that. It helps put off getting a real job that much longer, so I'm happy with it.

My birthday is Sunday! I'll finally be 18, which I feel like a dork for admitting. I'm sure you guys thought I was young but I really am a little kid. hahahah! And turning 18 is really going to mean nothing to me, since I don't smoke, I won't play the lottery, etc.

With no further adieu: Lelah #2 pictures!

I wonder why I am so patient sometimes, or how I got that way and then I realize it is, in fact, because I use AOL. Pam was right. Once again, I had 3/4 of an entry typed up and AOL decided that it didn't want to work anymore. Okay, fine. I'll just type everything up in NotePad from now on.

God, it kills me when my entires get lost because I get sick of repeating myself. I had already discussed, at length, in the other entry how I had made a little progress at each thing on my to-do list but had yet to cross anything off. So I'm leaving it at that. Pictures of stuff, soon. Same goes for everything else.

My family and a couple of my sister's friends went to Red Lobster for my sister's birthday last night. HOLY SHIT, I felt like everyone there was white trash, now that ought to tell you something. There was a woman going to dinner in a bathrobe and curlers, and wayyyy to many broads without bras that definitely needed them. I desprately wish I had brought my camera, because I'm getting really good at taking pictures of funny-looking people on the sly. I decided to wear my Lelah for the first time. As we're standing outside waiting for a table, this woman who looks to be about 45-50 and has the leathery skin and looks total white trash walks by wearing a shirt that has a plain black bust with a crocheted lace bottom. My dad and sister found it hilarious, and talked about my "twin". Anyway, it was fun, but I would would have killed for a picture of her. (I think that was a you-had-to-be-there story, hahah!)

Went shopping today, bought a couple of plain scoop-neck tees (grey and blue), a brown hoodie, and the cutest black halter top with apples on it. Pictures, maybe if I can ever get around do taking them.

There are so many things I want to knit right now, but I can't even make it to someplace like Rite Aid to buy yarn! I have a friend who wants a scarf and I'd like to make it before he leaves for a month on tour, but if I can't get yarn I can't make it. Ugh!